Meredith Brooks pegged women. Whether or not we like the terminology and language used in her song, I don’t think any of us can deny the full truth in her words.
I’m a ——, I’m a lover.
I’m a child, I’m a mother.
I’m a sinner, I’m a saint.
I do not feel ashamed.
I’m your health, I’m your dream.
And so on. Each chorus is a little different, and everything stated is so true about most women (even if they want to deny it). I, luckily, don’t deny it one bit. If I need to be a witch, I am a witch. There are many facets of my personality, and I show them when I feel they are most necessary. There was a time when I would allow myself to be used and taken advantage of, but that time has passed. Get enough people taking advantage of you and using you, there’s simply no more of you left – faith gets neglected, jobs get neglected, family gets neglected. It brings on depression, self-loathing, and many other things. It is dangerous in so many ways. I had to learn my witchy side.
But, I also believe that there are two kinds of witches.
Remember the movie, “The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly”? Well, I will never ever state a woman is ugly, for we all have our strength and beauties. But I will talk about the good and the bad.
“The Bad Witch”
These are the kind of witches most people hate. Unfortunately, they do exist, and they have very strong personalities that are very hard to avoid. Essentially, a bad witch makes it a point to make sure that she manipulates as many people as possible, and runs over as many people as possible to achieve her own goals. Oftentimes, the feelings of others are ignored, the rights of others are ignored, and this sort of witch can just be down-right rude. They have their own agendas and goals, and they don’t care who they leave shoe prints or tire tracks on to accomplish them.
I have even experienced the illusion of “help” from these people, only to find out that the only reason they helped me was to accomplish their own goals. And in the end, I wasn’t helped at all. Just backstabbed as their “help” was turned around on me with false accusations and claims.
They give the illusion of not caring about anyone else but themselves, even if they do have a heart inside there somewhere. They never say they are sorry, even when they find themselves in the wrong, unless they are forced to. (Most cannot be forced.) These women are often called “heartless”, “ruthless”, and… well… “bi… uh… witch”.
“The Good Witch”
Have you ever met the kind of women who will bend over backwards to help out just about anyone, but you’d better NOT try to double-cross her, manipulate her, or run over her, or you’ll be truly sorry? I certainly have.
There are so many people out there that are selfless to a fault, and then taken advantage of by the kind of people described in the previous section. And then there are those who are selfless (but not to a fault) – HOWEVER – they do not allow themselves to be used or run over.
I suppose there is a vulnerability that comes with allowing oneself to be used – but there is the saying: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
The Good Witches are the kind who will bend over backward for their children, family, and friends – protect them even when the only way to do it might involve stepping in and making people angry. They are the kind that will take on a huge task, just because it needs to be done, and no one else is willing to do it. They are the kind that will be blatantly and bluntly honest with a person, but will also take their feelings into consideration. (There ARE ways to be honest and straight forward, getting the point across, and not completely ripping someone’s world apart with that honesty.) They are the kind that look for and point out both the good AND the bad. They are the kind that aren’t afraid to say, “I told you so,” but still don’t give up on someone, instead allowing them to learn from their choices. They are the kind that aren’t afraid to say they’re sorry when they’ve done something wrong.
They are the kind that you look at and go, “Man, she’s a witch. But I love her!”
So, alright ladies. I challenge you all to look at your bi — witchiness. Are you a good witch, or a bad witch? The shortest way I can describe the difference between the two is: A bad witch runs over everyone. A good witch just makes sure no one runs over her. A bad witch barks and growls. A good witch commands and guides. A bad witch is honest in a way that tears down and hurts. A good witch is honest in a way that allows the other person to grow and learn. Both good witches and bad witches are strong women, they simply use their strength in different ways.
(Oh, and FYI – men can be witches, too. Yes, oh yes, they can.)